Are you ready for the key to getting whatever you want in life? Brace yourselves… You just have to ASK. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? So why don’t more of us ask when we want something – a job promotion, a date, a discount, a lift somewhere, assistance and so forth… Fear of rejection.
If you get a ‘no’ response when you ask for something, what has changed? Nothing. You didn’t have it before and you’ve not got it now but at least you’ve asked; you certainly won’t get if you don’t ask.
This fear of rejection is often disproportionate to what we’re asking for. We see a fab TV in a department store. It’s on offer but you’ve been doing your homework and it’s been on sale for a while, the price is higher than you want to pay but you really really want it. You could approach a sales assistant and chance your arm – asking for a bigger discount but what if they say no?! Surely it would be so embarrassing and everyone on shop floor would hear… Is that likely to happen? Probably not.
It’s important to distinguish between personal vs concept rejection. Take a job such as sales, if we hear a ‘no’ to our service / product / sale, we can tend to take it personally which is damaging. It’s more often the concept which is being said ‘no’ to rather than the person. If we take ‘no’ personally, it could limit our ability to bounce-back so we need to separate the ‘no’ from our self-esteem, de-couple ourselves from the product / service. We were not being personally rejected but possibly our sales technique could be better – it could be that we didn’t give the customer a good enough reason to buy and we should take responsibility for that; next time ask more questions to uncover the emotional need that might just switch them on. The average British sales person gets to two ‘no’s’ before backing out whereas a good sales person gets to about seven. They’re not pushy, it’s because they’re very good listeners and sensitive to the customers’ needs, plus they’re infectiously passionate about their product or service.
In the case of asking for the discount on the TV – if the shop assistant politely said no, it’s likely because they’ve a strict policy on such requests or maybe they’re desperate to hit a sales target, so need as good a sale as they can get. For the most part, it’s unlikely they said no because they didn’t like you. You can then either choose to pay the asking price or walk away happy that you gave it a go. If the sales assistant agreed to your price – everyone’s a winner – they got their sale and you got your discount.
Steve Jobs’ philosophy was that the simple action of asking is what separates those people who do things from those who just dream about it. Pretty powerful results can come from one word – ASK.
Understanding the difference between personal vs concept rejection, puts you in the driving seat. Adopting a mindset of expecting success means you’ll go for it but know that a ‘no’ isn’t necessarily about you. If you don’t ask, you won’t get more than you’ve got. GO FOR IT!
“Many things are lost for want of asking.” George Herbert
By Kirsty Perrin
About the Author: Having been immersed in the Winning Edge principles from an early age, Kirsty’s philosophy is to be the best you can be and to enjoy what you do in life.
Kirsty knows that personal development is a continuous journey and therefore has a genuine desire and enthusiasm to help people realise their full potential, to be a success in their life-whatever that may mean to them.
Kirsty’s thought-provoking blogs, prompt readers to think consciously about how their thinking has a huge impact on their life, it informs their emotions and therefore their behaviour. Living life consciously is the cornerstone to the themes of Kirsty’s blogs. You can contact Kirsty directly here